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Parenting With Love and Logic


It was intended as a compliment, to honour my desire to become a better father, “you must go read ‘Parenting with Love and Logic’,” But I just couldn’t help this thought creeping into my head – you are such a &*@%up around being a parent this guy can see that right away, you’re ignorant about parenting, about being a good father, about delivering what your children need from you.
Yea, I’m a bit hard on myself sometimes, well maybe lots of the time, not so different from other men – maybe you? Being a better Dad is a tough – tough conversation for a lot of men, it’s kinda like money, yea we all got some, but some guys got more so does that make them better than me? Does everything we do, as men have to be a competition?

Getting started was the hardest, swallowing my pride and trusting that I could integrate into my life and my family’s life something new. Admitting that as a man & father that maybe, just maybe I didn’t know everything and I could learn can be a gut wrencher.
Report from the trenches – It has all been worth it! Every last drop of effort to read this book has paid off in gold. Parenting has now evolved for me, from being a multi-celled organism crawling out of the mud to a bird flying through the skies.

My stress level around parenting my 4 children has dropped like the proverbial lead balloon. I have a peaceful feeling inside that has never been there before.
Being a father is a 24/7 task, it never leaves, it is always there. Wondering and worrying about my children, am I giving them enough, am I trying to do too much and not letting them learn on their own, do I even know enough about life to truly teach another human being? Are they going to be a better human being than me?
What Love and Logic have given me, or what I have taken from it is that I don’t have to natter at them until they learn, or submit, or ‘get it’ about all the lessons in life. I can & indeed have to have life teach them about life.

So many concepts in Love and Logic I kinda used, kinda figured out using a blend of other philosophies, logical concepts, and remembering my own life, and just being present to my children. But this busted it wide open, so much freedom; so much has been taken off my shoulders on what my children ‘have’ to learn.



My job is to give them opportunities to think, to think! Wow, life got simple.
I now look forward to when they make the ‘wrong’ decision and life deals them a shot of reality – ‘failure’. Being on their side, loving them in the mistake, not scolding or ‘I told you so…’ but genuinely feeling how bad they feel – that is the love.
Here comes the critical and most exciting part: NOT fixing it for them, the logic. “I know you can figure this out” or “I hope you will make better decisions next time”.
Giving them time to think. About the decisions, they made to get them to where they are.
The lessons they learn are the ones that will stay with them for life, my main job it decides if the ‘price’ they are paying for the lesson is appropriate.
If it the 1st time they have been given the opportunity to think, to figure out what they have to do differently next time, it may take a bit for them to step up to the plate.



If I have been rescuing and doing all the thinking for my child for the 1st – 5 or 10 or 18 years of their life, (which for the most part I have) how the heck is they going to jump right in and think it through????
I now ask myself “if they aren’t given the opportunity to think for themselves now in life, to learn this lesson now in life, when will they? Is this lesson age appropriate?”
We have given a ton of decision-making power over to our children and it has been a weight lifted off my chest. I know I’ve just started down a new road; a new paradigm for both myself and our children, it is very exciting. I’m excited for what my children will be learning in the months and years to come, I’m also excited for myself, for the new freedom I feel around being a father, a better father, a healthier father.

If you want to know more please click the link Below

Father Secret Diary 
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