Skip to main content

Parenting With Love and Logic


It was intended as a compliment, to honour my desire to become a better father, “you must go read ‘Parenting with Love and Logic’,” But I just couldn’t help this thought creeping into my head – you are such a &*@%up around being a parent this guy can see that right away, you’re ignorant about parenting, about being a good father, about delivering what your children need from you.
Yea, I’m a bit hard on myself sometimes, well maybe lots of the time, not so different from other men – maybe you? Being a better Dad is a tough – tough conversation for a lot of men, it’s kinda like money, yea we all got some, but some guys got more so does that make them better than me? Does everything we do, as men have to be a competition?

Getting started was the hardest, swallowing my pride and trusting that I could integrate into my life and my family’s life something new. Admitting that as a man & father that maybe, just maybe I didn’t know everything and I could learn can be a gut wrencher.
Report from the trenches – It has all been worth it! Every last drop of effort to read this book has paid off in gold. Parenting has now evolved for me, from being a multi-celled organism crawling out of the mud to a bird flying through the skies.

My stress level around parenting my 4 children has dropped like the proverbial lead balloon. I have a peaceful feeling inside that has never been there before.
Being a father is a 24/7 task, it never leaves, it is always there. Wondering and worrying about my children, am I giving them enough, am I trying to do too much and not letting them learn on their own, do I even know enough about life to truly teach another human being? Are they going to be a better human being than me?
What Love and Logic have given me, or what I have taken from it is that I don’t have to natter at them until they learn, or submit, or ‘get it’ about all the lessons in life. I can & indeed have to have life teach them about life.

So many concepts in Love and Logic I kinda used, kinda figured out using a blend of other philosophies, logical concepts, and remembering my own life, and just being present to my children. But this busted it wide open, so much freedom; so much has been taken off my shoulders on what my children ‘have’ to learn.



My job is to give them opportunities to think, to think! Wow, life got simple.
I now look forward to when they make the ‘wrong’ decision and life deals them a shot of reality – ‘failure’. Being on their side, loving them in the mistake, not scolding or ‘I told you so…’ but genuinely feeling how bad they feel – that is the love.
Here comes the critical and most exciting part: NOT fixing it for them, the logic. “I know you can figure this out” or “I hope you will make better decisions next time”.
Giving them time to think. About the decisions, they made to get them to where they are.
The lessons they learn are the ones that will stay with them for life, my main job it decides if the ‘price’ they are paying for the lesson is appropriate.
If it the 1st time they have been given the opportunity to think, to figure out what they have to do differently next time, it may take a bit for them to step up to the plate.



If I have been rescuing and doing all the thinking for my child for the 1st – 5 or 10 or 18 years of their life, (which for the most part I have) how the heck is they going to jump right in and think it through????
I now ask myself “if they aren’t given the opportunity to think for themselves now in life, to learn this lesson now in life, when will they? Is this lesson age appropriate?”
We have given a ton of decision-making power over to our children and it has been a weight lifted off my chest. I know I’ve just started down a new road; a new paradigm for both myself and our children, it is very exciting. I’m excited for what my children will be learning in the months and years to come, I’m also excited for myself, for the new freedom I feel around being a father, a better father, a healthier father.

If you want to know more please click the link Below

Father Secret Diary 
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Father As a Role Model

My Ideal Father  Your dad resembles your actual companion. You generally get so much love and love from him. He takes care of you and tends to you like no other. Your dad will dependably be strict with you since he needs the best for you. It is on the grounds that he adores you that he needs you to be a decent individual with all the great qualities and high ethics. You share an extremely unique bond with your dad. Endeavor to respond the adoration he has for you. You can never compensate a father for all that he improves the situation you yet you can demonstrate your affection and administer to him. My dad is my good example. He is the individual who I wish to end up like. He has every one of the characteristics that I find are the perfect characteristics of a man. He is straightforward, and he is additionally brave to be that way. He generally looks for reality and submits to it. He will do whatever he can for this. He is useful to individuals who may require his assista...
Post a Comment
Read more

Stay at Home Dad - Infant Bonding and Finding the Time to Bond

I've been a stay at home Dad for a barely multi-year now and there are a lot of little traps to learn en route. It is anything but a simple occupation to be a stay at home father, newborn child holding in itself requires a great deal of training, persistence, and a casual perspective. Here are a few hints on holding with your little one that will truly help. Eye to eye connection. When you investigate your child's eyes and simply stop to take her/him in, you are truly doing your youngster a major support. You are setting aside the opportunity to remember them. You're not circling endeavoring to do what YOU think ought to be done, you're perceiving that he/she is as of now accomplishing something (being) and that is sufficiently essential. Incredibly this straightforward thing will influence your youngster to feel increased in value, adored, and confident. Try not to control what your kid is doing. My greatest obstacle as a parent is my need to dependably direct th...
Post a Comment
Read more

How To Find The Best Job For Stay At Home Dads

When taking a gander at the previous, one would see that most guardians would either not work or they would have a vocation at a corporate office. Presently, circumstances are different, and people can bring up children and work from home. While there are a few confinements, it's anything but difficult to profit telecommuting, and a stay at home father should find a way to locate the best remain at home occupations for his or her circumstance. Think about hours: First and preeminent, a stay at home father ought to think about his hours. Consider it, when hoping to work, one should recollect that they should deal with their youngsters. Truth be told, the children ought to be the need, and one ought to just work around that. Consequently, while thinking about work, one might not have any desire to land a position that expects them to get up too soon or work past the point of no return. Along these lines, rather, when a father can see how to begin functioning on the web at his pac...
Post a Comment
Read more