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Counting Dads, Counting Moms

For the past 6 years, I’ve been counting the dad, counting the mom and today is the 1st time I’ve clearly, definitely seen the dads have outnumbered the moms!
Observing the world I live in is a part time / full time sometimes a job, what’s going on around me, usually when I find a trend – I’ll go the other way, counter herd mentality.
If I’m going to do something – going to find a way to enjoy it, & empower those around me. This power is all mine, mine to pick up & wield like a warrior’s battle-ax, mine to lay on the ground and be a victim in life. This is the warrior in me, even with my children; I challenge myself to find the joy, the connection. “What do my children need, what can I deliver? How do I do this with honor and respect for all, including myself? A multi-faceted problem with all the variables in constant flux, being present, calm and ready to take action is the only constants.
This Sunday morning at the local aquatic center with a wave pool, hot tub, 2 saunas, 2 water slides, diving board and length swimming. Been taking my children for ‘family swim’ which means no wild & crazy running around – not a babysitting event. The early session 9-11 am is for ones for children under 6, so lots of really young ones getting their first tastes of water… no wave pool at this point. The later session is 11-1pm is for families with children over 6. We attended the earlier one for 4 years and the later for the last 2. I get up on Sunday morn, gather our 3 youngest up and off we go, the early years where an act of courage and gifting to momma! A Sunday morning of a quiet house, to do whatever she desired, mostly just sleep in peace. Back home and to make waffles, celebrate that I actually got everyone there and back home in one piece!
2, 3, & a 4-year-old, haven’t seen that many families, never mind just a father with that at the pool. Those early years tested and built up my well of patience, drove my ingenuity, creativity to solve so many small challenges, that there are just no books or formula’s for…how to play with 3 small children in the pool so each one is having fun and safe…showering, cleaning, changing, keeping the socks from dropping on the floor and getting wet… taking all 3 to the bathroom because one had to…herding cats sometimes…my inner game was to keep the joy, stay present, stay in my body.
In all those years we were clearly in the minority, one just being a dad with more than one child at the pool, never mind 3! There without the momma a big notice. Not many men out without the overbearing guidance of the momma. This may be where my counterculture kicks in, I don’t need the feminine to oversee what I do as a father, and I don’t need her guidance to nurture, educate, & pass on skills to my children, I’m ok being masculine, being present to another human – my child, and seeing what is unfolding, nurturing their self-esteem, their skills, showing my love.
Back to today: It was a quiet time, the wee ones had mostly left and the bigger ones were not fully in attendance, so it was easy to count. 8 fathers in the pool, some with a couple of children, and 2 mommas. Wow, 1st time I’ve noticed, we outnumbered them! What does this snapshot mean? Are more men finding the confidence and the joy in spending time just with their children? What does this mean for a counterculture dude like me? Does this mean finding another bastion un-assaulted by the proud masculine father to invade and make safe for the brethren? Ahh, another battlefront to discover!
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